Taylor Swift Gets Lost

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Taylor Swift opened her eye. She was on a beach! She did not remember going to the beach. Hadn’t she been flying in an aeroplane to one of the 58 sell-out dates of her Red Tour for her amazing album Red?

Taylor Swift got up and looked around. Oh dear was that Ed Sheeran’s head all cut off and smashed into a tree? He’d never be able to support her now on tour. What a shame.

Suddenly all of a sudden a man ran towards her. It was Jack from Lost! “Hello are you ok I am Jack from Lost I am a surgeon for if you need any surgery or such.”

“Where is this mysterious place Jack from Lost and will I ever get home?” asked Taylor Swift curiously.

“Hello are you Taylor Swift from music?’ said Charlie from Lost who was also there. “You may remember me from music or being a heroin addict” he said and then he sang his song.

“Taylor Swift this is an mysterious island and I’m sorry but you are trapped forever with us and our mysteries,” said the fat one from Lost

“Oh well,” thought Taylor Swift, trying to make the best of it because she always stays postive “at least they seem friendly.”

But suddenly all of a sudden the two foreign ones from Lost came running up the beach shouting all in foreign, as you know they often do.

“I think they are shouting the foreign word for smoke monster!” Jack from Lost shouted and everyone was very scared because of smoke monster.

Desmond from Lost who was also there because this was set during Season 3 of Lost when he was there. held Taylor Swift’s hand because she was very afraid but she did not cry because she is strong and also pretty. “Do not worry Taylor Swift if we are strong together we do not need to be afraid, brother.” Taylor Swift was glad and squeezed his hand.

But then smoke monster came rushing towards them and turned into… a person… like when it turned into the priest one’s brother or something like that. And the person was…. Jake Gylennhall

“Oh no can’t I get away from you anywhere Jake Gylennhall” said Taylor Swift.

“Taylor Swift please come back to me I am sorry I was mean to you it was not me a man from the future had all gone inside of me and made me do those things I promise.” said Jake Gylennhall pathethically.

“No Jake Gylennhall that is the plot of that film you were in you stupid idiot. This is just like when you missed our date “because an aeroplane fell on you” or when you kept spitting on things and calling me Heath.”

Jake Gylennhall looked pretty stupid I can tell you.

“Don’t worry Taylor Swift I know how to stop the monster, brother” said Desmond from Lost and they held hands and threw magnets at Jake Gylennhall and he turned back into smoke and blew away.

Everyone said hurray but they were still sad because of being trapped on a mysterious island even if some of them were discovering new feelings.

Taylor Swift said “I know what if I sing one of my songs” and she sang the song Love Story which has sold nearly 8 million sales around the world. It was so beautiful it melted the mysterious island’s heart and they could all go home apart from Ed Sheeran who was still all smashed to bits and dead oh dear how sad now she has to find a new support act.

“Taylor Swift, brother… maybe we could go home… together, brother?” said Desmond from Lost and they held hands and flew away on the magic of romance…

TO BE CONTINUED IN PART 2 MAYBE THERE IS A WEDDING AND A GHOSTBUSTER STAY TUNED.

This was written for the inaugural meeting of Talking About Things Aimed At Teenagers, and is also available on fanfiction.net.

One Life Left: Our Game

Last year’s run of Europe’s biggest award-losing video games radio show include a semi-regular series of contributions from a man called Mick Rossiter. You can find them archived below:

One Life Left: Our Game #1

One Life Left: Our Game #2

One Life Left: Our Game #3

One Life Left: Our Game #4

This year Mick may be writing further letters to One Life Left, which can be heard on Resonance 104.4 FM every Monday at 7PM, or on the internet. No, I have never heard of Chris Morris, who is he?